Do not speak unless you can improve the silence

A train stops at a not so upmarket station and I board the train. The only thing I found subsisting was silence. How could the whole box swarmed with people be filled with silence? As though there was no one existing in the train and the driver wants to just head the train to its destination faster. The involuntary muscles greedy for a reflex action rule over me and my hands slide into my pockets. This is to increase the volume of the music in my ears. Now, I listen as though I would not have been able to listen to one of my favorite songs peacefully. My ears then become sentient with a realisation that there is absolute no necessity to increase the volume, silence is the only thing in prevalence now. My eyes try to take a glimpse and there is a small mathematical calculation involved, about sixty seventy people in one compartment and there is just silence! This is simply the Mx effect, I call. All heads down in the paper, I can hardly see faces. Yes, Mx is an evening newspaper, which people of all ages, from all hemishperes of life grab and get themselves busy, be it news, sports section, horoscope or the sudoku, which one of my friends likes to solve..... Meanwhile, I also read some headlines here or there from some one's paper. My curiosity to read the horoscope for the day amplifies in spite of knowing the day is close to retirement. I know myself how my entire day has been. I do not even try to justify as to why the curiosity should still exist.

The train stops and people get down, some people board the train and some are still waiting on the other platform. I slowly see a lady talking to a gentleman sitting in front of her, there I go.... Finally I have seen some one talking. I become environment deaf but of course, I do listen to the muzic in my ears. Every one looks at him as if they were not supposed to talk but sit silently following the norm. Why not? Its public transport and you gotta talk. Alright, I had decreased the volume of my ear phones some time back, thanks to silence again. I hear a nice funky ring tone, I wish I had that one on my mobile. But none like mine.... Its very sweet.... if you have heard of the cuppy cake. The cutest n sweetest of all. The receiver takes the call and starts sending the voice signal with less loss of noise. In simple words, he starts talking, people again turn their heads and see who is talking. Some do not even turn as though they don't bother, good people I think, but no, they are the people who are like but have increased volume of music in their ears and are unaware of the loudness. This conversation is not an interesting one but every one is forced to listen. This person tries to explain that he is visiting some city only on a business tour and is not willing to spend a huge money on a luxurious accommodation. Alright, I get a place to sit and I doze off when I do not know. All I remember is I had taken the Mx paper myself and was reading it. Yes my horoscope said that my day was gonna be a passive one with undecided thoughts and some active period for love.... I wake up to find the train less crowded but with more noise now. A gang of teenagers, having fun. I check for the next station, hope that I slept enough for my station to arrive. Yes, I see the board and get off. I start walking and think how silent could the place be. As if we all had to pay if we start talking. Or some one would say like his or her hobbies are reading, writing, listening to music and silence..... So, speak only if you can improve the silence. How, I do not comprehend still. I get home and my evening continues..... writing this post......

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Essence of Life

Dictionary.com I visit, to check the meaning of one of the innumerous words which I was ignoramous of. Skimming through the page, I see the 'happy' word and ignore it, not that I tried to be a coxcomb here but only because I knew the meaning of it. Obviously, who wouldn't. Happily I skip the happy word, forget about it and get engrossed in my other work, not that it was important, just browse on the net, try to look for something new n exciting. The velocity of my thoughts increases and I board a flight of memories from the Melbourne airport to the Hyderabad one, I keep cruising smoothly in a jocund fashion way years back. My mom making the best biryani for me, my chachu teasing me, dad teaching me the best things in life, or simply fighting with my sweetest bro, being fortunate enough to meet a new friend in life, or be it the first time I saw aryan my fren's son, how cute was he, they all brought smiles to me, more smiles than before now that I am miles away. Happiness is what we all strive for.... all time, all moments in life. I want to be happy as well. Absolute dependence on what I would define happiness as. Do I accept the universally known or ubiquitously accepted definition of happiness or just create my own? Yes, I guess we all do that, customize it in our own peculiar ways and then start a search for it, as though it was a keyword on a search engine and you get results. Yes, today if you do enter it as a keyword, you will get results. Are they relevant to you? As a child, I wanted all toys, chocolates and ice creams for myself and I was happy....Scoring in math made my happy, a nice beautiful dress my mom would get for me made me happy..... being with my frenz n family made me happy...... being around new places made me happy......Birthday treats and being with my big family made me happy. It was as gleeful, as joyous, as exultant as euphoric(bloomingeuphoria as my blog name, clik clik.....), as amused, basically as happy I could be. As I grew my definition of happiness kept changing. Its just that I start a day, a day full of activities, unrelenting, some jovial moments and the mundane routine....Was it not the happiness but the things from which I was seeking happiness were changing constantly? This was so true. Not that it was inscrutable all this while to me, but its just that point of self realization that had to take a revolt inside me and I started jiving in the inner me. I wanted that gratification where I could find satisfaction that I could get in doing something. Not that I did not get it in when I was working, when I was staying with my family, not that it did not happen when I wanted to study and made it.... Nor when I am here in Melbourne around..... But still, there is something that I so much want to do, somewhere that I want to go, which could make me so happy that I can give that sense of happiness to others, so that they smile n I smile..... Let it not be objectively measurable I say to myself. No homilies here, but just a simple and an honest attempt of finding my path of happiness or satisfaction in life. I wonder what elements are they that make up the correct compound of happiness or a catalyst that I am missing in myself to balance that equilibrium of happiness. My hunt is still on for the essence of my life....

Grateful I am......

While making sandwiches, I never realised that I would meet this person again!! How busy can a store be when u have hungry clients standing in huge queues in front of you, just eagerly waiting to hand over their apetite in your hands and ready to tickle their taste buds. Breads, wraps, carrot, sour cream, lettuce, chutney, bbq sauce, dressings, salads n drinks n coffee... I was in this world with no other thoughts striking in my mind..... Hardly, I get a chance to lift my head up and see how many more are gonna be served...... And I see a smiling face looking at me and I give a real smile back to that person. Only with a hope that I get a chance to serve this person. I realized slowly that this person was also waiting in the line ahead of me willing to be served. I happily receive this person and ask if it was a bread or sa focaccia, salad or meat n coffee or juice n salt n pepper or dressing or hot roast. Not the whole menu I intend to display in this space....The best I wanted the sandwich to be!! And then we would discuss how healthy the food gotta be....n general catching up with each other.... n n n on.... alright I give a staff discount for the sandwich and the drink.... n get another newly enrolled healthy habits member!! I then thank him for being the kindest person of all to me and look upto him for being the human being!! Yes, u got the clue now.... He was the one who returned my purse back to me!! This one is out for you :)

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has a cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." - Albert Schweitzer

Human Being..... Being Human ??

Good people still exist today. Not just for the heck of it I say, but with experience. One day, actually one night after a tiresome cumbersome double shift at work, I am all rushing gushing towards the tram stop praying all my way that the tram arrives after my arrival. Not that it was the last tram of the day but I would have to wait for the next and last tram for the night alone. I wanted to rush home, get rid of my uniform smelling of sandwiches...anyone could say I work in a sandwich store because of my uniformly sandwich perfumed uniform! Its a funky vibrant green colored tee though!! I wouldn't have worn a cap though at that part of the night.. I would have, no one bothers what fashion is or isn't here. You wear it and its a fashion....This reminds me of Seinfeld's episode where in Elane or George eats snickers or some chocolate bar with a knife and everyone in the city starts eating a chocolate bar with a knife and a fork. Ok ok, now I am just going off track and missing the essence of what I desired to write... I know my written skills aren't that great but when I wish to write can't stop it anyways, whether it is good or bad!! I board the tram, all tired with my eyes yearning for sleep, shutting down, I take an evening popular newspaper and start reading it and also looking for my stop as if looking out and restlessness would make me reach earlier to my stop! My constant effort of not falling asleep as the repercussions would be not more than missing my stop at that late hour and ending myself some tram stop heading towards the city. And not get the train/tram back to my place. So, with an honest attempt to not try this wonderful adventure, I try to be awake, look at the old couple sitting behind, a desi guy with his hair shining because of his highlights( I still remember the funny hairstyle vaguely :)), an Aussie girl talking on phone as though her voice couldn't be heard at the other end and some other jerks my be, whom I did not even bother to look at. There the stop is, stop no 26, happily I collect all my stuff n get down, say thanks to the driver, just being courteous enough here :) and running again not to miss the signal for pedestrians, I run across the road(why do we humans keep always running behind something or the other?) Too many things in my hand, I reach home and see the lights on in the kitchen area, oh yes, what a sigh of relief, some one can open the door for me, I don't have to toggle between stuff in my bag.... I get the door open with food smelling, again a relief that I don't have to cook.....N yes, I take shower, have dinner n try to catch up with my sweet roomie with the day's hum drums. Now, the time to turn off the lights, lock the door and take my stuff up. Only then did I realise that my bag is missing, a safe guess I made that it must be a prank by my roomie, but unfortunately it wasn't true. The adventure starts with the bag hunt, all unsuccessful......cursing myself all along why did I not take care of the bag... Honestly, was I not taking care that I don't fall asleep, was I not trying to be awake and save myself from another tiresome roller coaster adventure of travelling in the tram?? Where could my bag go? (as though it could run away because it did not like my company! Only a little animation imagination here!) My house did not contain the bag neither did some one flick my bag. Alright, its gone astray! Flummoxed totally, I end up calling the tram services but to no avail, quite obvious that it wouldn't be a customer service rep ready to take my call, I get the automated message very politely asking me to call back at 6am the next morning. I don't sleep the whole night, waiting for the clock to strike 6am.The concerned person will only be available at 9am, I get to hear this at 6am. Not much can I do now and my eyes just shutting for some rest they needed, some sleep I guess. Yes I innocently guess! The person in charge tells me that there was no bag found! Only tensed, no chemicals flowing in my brain now. Oh meanwhile, I did block one of my cards the previous night. Only realising that I did not block the other one. I just call up the other card and get it blocked. I was told that this card has already been blocked. Now, I wonder how. But in the interim, I call up my parents and just trying to share my frustration with them that I lost everything that was there in the bag with all my ids, did not have cash though!! Parents are always nice and I get encouragement just not be so tensed and things can be done again and its not an irreparable loss after all!! Its always possible to get back my ids.... I hang up with some relief, its not a big loss after all!! Coming back to the card that was blocked!! How do I unravel this mystery now? I call up the bank and realise that some one has blocked it! I already start praising that nice person for being so kindest of all to me on this planet! I contact my Uni, asking them if any one is looking for me, please give them my number so that he/she can reach me! A couple of minutes, I get a quick response that my person has been found and please contact this person! All my smiles are getting back to me!! I call this person and get to know how I just forgot to pick up my bag in the tram while leaving! He was just enough to return it to me!! Yes, people are so mean to you, they know you and are still mean to you. People are nice to you, they know you and are still nice to you. What touched me the most is that this person without knowing who I was so good, so kind and so nice to help me out! Why can't people be nice to you in spite of knowing you? Is it this difficult to efface the unkindness with our selves???? I met him, thanked him from the bottom of my heart and will always remember that this person has taught me to be nice and extend help to who ever I could. He gave me my smiles back and saved me from the plight of redoing the whole procedure of getting my ids back to me! I owe him big time I would say. Now, I always say let that person be always happy where ever he is and let him be successful in what ever he does in any part of his life!!

So, human beings we all are, but being human is what this incident has taught me!

My Latest Passion!

Melbourne! My latest passion!! Ever since I landed, I always kept falling in love with this most scintillating city..... I bet this place has an undeniable magnetic power! What is it that makes it so adorable?

Yes, when I first landed here, I saw the sun rising in the early hours from the airport, with a cool crispness in the air, and the light shimmering thru, making everything look golden made me enjoy nature at first hand. Trains n trams make it so convenient to mobilize, any point is so accessible from any corner. My campus in city made it all the more exciting to explore it everyday. Sky scrapers with a touch of modernity in one part of the city whereas telstra dome, MCG, museums and other antiquated buildings with intricate architecture on the other part of the yarra river make it a perfect blend of old n new! How could I not mention the casinos? A ramble gamble weekend, I experienced that too... A frenetic festival I would call it, muzic lovers playing muzic, guitar sometimes, lotsa other instruments and also a jamaican long tube... am not sure what its called for now, can't stress my brain, so I leave it. Street shows adding a lively flavor to the streets... One whole part of a walk way built for chess! Yes, a huge block of 64 white and black sqaures and huge king, queen, elephants n horses.... Sumptuous food on sideways with awesome restaurants on both sides, tempting your senses to eat.... Boat clubs and oh ya, other clubs too around and what not! People all over, avid shoppers.... People are so friendly here, so helpful. Winter breeze making me hunt for my pocket in the jacket to get that little warmth... Rainy days, carrying an umbrella after ages! I love getting wet in rain, but not when u gotta go to class... Breezy sunny mornings and wait for your train, praying that it comes a little early when I am early at the station and the day I am late, wish the train is late too!!

Could I ever force myself to start studying being in a beautiful place like this?? Well, with an overload of my assignments, I guess I would have to pester myself and not procrastinate my studies.... Before I get a call to be back to India!!

I thought I had posted this one.... was still lying with me in my saved drafts! Just trying to show off a little that I had no time to write!! Na.... seriously I did not!!

Agglomeration Of Feelings.....

I looked out of the window from the flight, fleeting clouds, white n pure.... as white as they could be! While cruising thru them, never realized I dived into the ocean of thoughts. Though a journey by air, I stopped at every small station of my life, yielding to all vibrant cameos of life. A little girl being pampered at home by all, fond memories of school days, full of mischief n naughtiness, college fun days, bunking classes, writing exams, movies, masti... Snowy experience in Detroit, thrilling roller coaster rides :) The most recent one, in Hyd. Spending quality time with my parents was the best part.... Be pampered, get what you desire, catch up with friends besides growing professionally. I cannot complete without writing about my experience while working for the world's largest search engine company... The wonderful friends I made..... yes, a roller coaster ride of awesome experiences..... I met people hankering with zeal, the zeal to enjoy life and wonderful friends :) No blue funks, just joy. Yes, I did recollect some of my bitter experiences but I wanted to be happy and not agonize myself at a point where I am thinking of starting a new phase in my life.... the student phase again! Having recollected all this, I learnt the importance of treasuring these sweet memories, and I look forward to spend more lovely moments... As I read some where, 'you never know when you are actually creating a memory.....' to be treasured some time some where later in life's journey......