kuch ankahi si

vo aaye the izhaar karne
aankhon se deedaar karne
samajh na sake hum unka ishaara
doob gayi kashti na Mila kinara
kabhie chalte the ek raah
humko aate dekh,
badal di unhone raah
khata kya ki humne
saza jiski mili unse
apna banaya unhone gair se bhi gair banaya unhone
hum intezaar karenge unka
kehdo unse ki ye
dil ki chahat hai
unko humse aur humko unse
mohabbat hai mohabbat hai

kahi ankahi si

kuch kahi si, kuch ankahi si

simat rahi hai, kuch palon ki

zindagani aur kahani kahin

khamoshiyon ka caravan

ehsaason ka jahan

banana chahta hai koi

haal hai jo dil ka, bolna chahta hai koi

pal ban ne lage hai,

yaadein simatne lage hai

naya taraana sa hai,

lamhon ka naya khazaana sa hai

ek jhoka aaya anjaana sa,

lamha kuch pehchaana sa

ojhal na tha kabhi,

laga jo apna sa abhi

nazar ne milna chaha,

dil per zor na raha

ik baari raaz khol bhi do,

palkon ko uthne bhi do

kuch samajhne lage vo,

andaz dekhne lage hum

kuch samjhaane lage vo,

aahein bharne lage hum

kuch kehne ki zid karne lage vo,

samajh rahe the per keh na sake hum

barasne ke liye kuch hamare,

hothon per bol ke badal

na samajh sake vo

fir kuch samjhaane lage hum

surili aankhon mein unke,

doobne se dar lagta hai

jadu sa kar gaye vo,

dooriyon se dar lagta hai

kehkasha bana gaye vo,

chahat ka darwaza khatkhata gaye vo

basne lage hai dil mein jaise,

ab keh bhi do, samjha bhi do aise

meethi si bheeni si,

baatein keh gaye vo

palkon se naino tak,

dil mein sama gaye vo

kehne aaye the jo vo,

humse bulva gaye vo

palkon se unke naino tak hum,

khone se lage hai kuch hum

soni si suhaani si,

zindagaani bana gaye vo

haldi ka shot

My blog has been wrinkled. Wrinkles come with age, don't they? This is what happened to my blog: unattended, uncared and undernourished. Procrastination wins over negligence here. Well, here I am back into the writing state of my mind. I shall try and make this intermittent. Hope it is in my trying effort.

Work has been as usual. My day started with some lack of sleep, backache and no breakfast. I hate to bring the blinds down in my apartment. Let me rephrase this, I love to bring them down but hate to be unsuccessful. I learnt the knack and how hard I tried and still try each time. Lucky I am a few times when it's smooth without any squeaky noises displeasing my ears. I tried hard again this morning and this is the nth time I hate to ask some one else to do it. I leave them to their state. However, there is a ray of sunlight passing through the other glass pane. The blinds were open horizontally but down all the way vertically. It reached the plants placed on a stand and made it beautiful. I smiled and thought, what a sight of contentment.

Stir fry, yes I love cooking. I enjoy so much that it vents my frustration and allows a fresh breeze of creativity. I love going to a Thai joint which has become one my favourites. How I love the sumptuous wok tossed chicken n veggies with its lemon-grass sauce hissing on the sizzler. I have not had my breakfast and this is definitely a serious high peak temptation. I recreated this dish and surprised myself. Shared the recipe with my friends and trained (mind you, trained I said :)) them. It clicked at the box office.

I was elated when I just heard from my friend about the box office hit. Made my day. How often do you share your recipe and some one tries it immediately? I was excited. She is pregnant and its a pleasure when both souls relish and please their taste-buds. Oh, does the tiny soul have his/her taste-buds yet? I am not sure about this one.

Drinking turmeric instilled milk is an ancient, successful and tested household remedy tested for cold. I was a very finicky fussy child when it came to food. Milk added to my misery. None of the chocolate powders could change my mind enough. However, bournvita won my heart and I would forget the milk. Take bournvita in a bowl with a spoon and sit in front of the tv and have it before being scolded. Adding to my sad saga of this hatred of milk was haldi. I love haldi in everything but milk. I could not throw away this glass of yellow milk as I did with regular milk sometimes from my window or in the sink. I came up with an idea. I named it 'haldi ka shot'.

Hot chocolate poured in my glass. I mixed 3-5 tablespoons of milk with haldi and gulped it like medicine. With no break, I drank hot chocolate over this. Mom always said no water for an hour at least. I followed the same and forgot about the haldi trauma. It worked like magic. I could not be happier in this state of suffering. I remember when I forced my parents to try this. It was different to what their grandparents and parents taught them. It worked and they were happy. I shared this with my friend and she promised to try it. I am waiting for another success story like stir fry.

An ode to my childhood discovery. Haldi ka shot.

Trivial yet Memorable

TGIF! I was looking forward to a relaxed evening. Rain made the weather awesome. My day was hectic with work, Uni and meetings. I went to the city to catch up with a friend.

The weather could not get any better. The journey in train seemed quicker. I stopped at some stations of memories where the train did not halt in ages. I remembered a few people about whom I had almost forgotten in my day to day life. A couple of incidents which remained untouched where refreshed. Coupled with a few sms's and phone calls, the journey was still on. "Don't get late, I hate waiting!" This flashed my mind and I was startled. I told my friend to get there early, the reason very obvious. I do not like to wait irrespective of the place or people. I got off and walked towards the meeting point.

The deal was to catch up and indulge sinfully (as I call it), at the most popular chocolate palace. The place was a hodgepodge of rain and chocolate. We met and started talking. I wanted a chocolate frappe. Not that I really wanted it but I wanted to avoid the belgian waffles with heaps of chocolate. We spoke and ordered. My friend got busy for a moment in something, I guess it was cricket. (I cannot remember it now!) My other friend had an exam that evening. He called me to know what I was doing. I asked him to join us. Three of us, spoke and spoke.

The isle was full of chocolate lovers. I was facing these guys and talking to them. I realized some one trying to gain my attention. I simply ignored. I sipped my frappe and continued listening to the conversation. It was about a person whom we knew. I nodded and asked a question. I lost track of the conversation after a few minutes. It was not boring, but I was preoccupied with something else at that moment.

I noticed the person sitting opposite to me. He was one among the six-seven persons dressed professionally. I presumed that was an office group. I noticed a guy staring at me. I looked too. There was a nice handsome chap in a black suit, white shirt inside and cufflings but I continued talking. I got caught in those eyes for a moment.

My talking made no sense gradually. That sentence was a roller coaster of words. He stared again and knew that I got caught. There was hide and seek of eyes for a few moments. I continued drinking the frappe and talked. He walked away after some time looking at me. I did not.

शुभ दीपावली

त्यौहार हो दीपावली का
पूजन हो देवी लक्ष्मी का
आँगन हो खुश-हाली का
नज़ारा हो झील मिल दीयों का
शोर हो पटाखों का
सेवन हो मिठाईयों का
चुप गया चन्द्रमा आज, थो आकाश हो जगमगाते सितारों का
डेरा हो जीवन में उजाले का
नव वर्ष के इस सुहाने आगमन में, हर सपना हो साकार आपका
और सुनेहरा बन जाए हर रिश्ता, चाहे मेरा हो या आप का
शुभ दीपावली कहे सबको, फ़िर वो निराला मन् मेरा हो या आप का :)

Sleepy afternoon

One afternoon in office and the pinnacle of my sleep. My eyes tried hard not to shut. Ill-timed but unavoidable. With my manager's back and mine facing each other, it wasn't hard to close my eyes longer. However, I dared not to risk myself. I also preferred not to put my sleep at stake. If only I could. I had a light and non-soporific lunch some time back. Climbing Mt. Everest seemed easier. Controlling my sleep was as difficult as putting a thread in the needle without glasses. Savoring coffee or iced chocolate was not an option. I was craving for candy, and my colleague walked in with some. Very minute square shaped sweet bits. I grabbed only three of them. I got conscious of my health; sub-consciously may be.

I heard something the next minute. My ears paid extra attention to that, eyes unbothered. "Meghna....You are here, how come so quiet? Unusual! Like a mouse!" It made sense. Even if I slept, I 'd be silent. I went to him and conversed for a few minutes. I tried not to fade the excellent state of sleepiness. It hadn't. I returned to my seat and realised that I had not read one of my friend's blog. I read and also posted a comment. I opened a file to work and made some changes to it. Saved it to my computer without taking chances of uploading it on the server. This saved me from getting into any trouble. I gulped some water and with my favorite song playing into my ear drums.

"Can I ask you something?" My reflex action was slower. Somehow, I responded a second later, "ya sure!" What was that? I went and resolved that little computer related mystery of his. I returned to my desk. Paid less attention to the song and I decided to chat with my friend. I did, but was sad as my housemate was leaving. I questioned myself about parting from good people in life. Never waited for a response. I gulped water again and was completing my water quota of the day. Nope actually, was more than half way through.

I realised there was only half hour left. I tested something that I was building for a few minutes. I was happy that it reflected the changes I made. This was a boon at that state of trance. But my eyes did not cooperate for the chemicals in my brain to flow smoothly. So, I was not confident to burden the server again. I read some news. About the world's cheapest car. Originated from my own country. I went ahead to read some interesting articles. Bored, I jumped to food websites. They never bored me at all. Cooking, my passion increased the desire of reading it.

I looked out of the window, it was so beautiful. The lake's scintillating water created perfect reflections. Bright was the sunshine glow. I smiled. My mobile was blinking more than my eyes now. It caught my attention. The number was not stored in my mobile. I pretended to be busy at work and it was unanswered. I spoke to one of my colleagues and my phone vibrated. This was my friend. He was on his way to buy a camera for my housemate. We decided on a specific model in the morning after some research. I lost attention to his speech, more towards a new email that popped up. I continued reading, it was about my tax refunds. The agent replied there would be less returns than expected during our meeting. I misread that and panicked. I thought I had to pay more. Noway I said to myself. But my friend without realising my state of mind, continued talking. I asked him to stop and walked out in the lobby to talk. Air seemed to be fresh relatively. I spoke and realised how I misread the email. Spoke for a few minutes.

I exchanged smiles with most of my colleagues. Smiles most expressive, its the end of the day. There was restlessness in few whereas a sign of relief in more. Mine conveyed the latter. I returned to my desk and read the email again. I looked at the clock and wasn't too far from leaving. There was some task to be completed. But it can be done tomorrow said my inner voice. I was lethargic.

I heard voices " cya tomorrow, have a gud nite....What are your plans for tonight? Hmmm...I am going Salsa....and it was a medley of voices. Thirty seconds past five. I winded up for the day. I greeted few and left for home. Thoughts of living without the housie scared me a bit. Its rare to find a person as joyful and as precious as one could be. Tears in my eyes, but no one focused as I was getting into the tram. It was overcrowded. I continued my journey.

Menace can never be less!!

The menace I can call her!! Uff!! With quite a difficulty I got up by convincing myself. With an optimistic attitude to recuperate from the tiniest suffering on this planet. Yes, the cold and cough and an added tincture of fever to it. Cough and cold sound too normal but truly take the energy out of you. I felt emaciated already. It had drained me exhaustively, I felt better today, thanks to all my friends who did their best to get me out of it and make me feel at home. Now, they had been telling me about my blabbering. I would talk about all non-sense in this world but precisely more of apples, snow and slides and my dad riding it and what not. I hardly remember anything. Yes, I remembered asking for my mom repeatedly. I was fooled to get feeded by making me listen to all kids stories. I was glorified the next day morning with the knowledge of my unusual feverish behaviour! My vocal chord had been exploited over the brim while working. So, I decided to speak less and get back my chirpiness :) But, it does not seem to working in my favor. I stayed away from coke, ice cream, basically all things not would not add to the pain of damaging my voice. I decided finally, I would get to work today. And had enough of this sickness taken a toll on me. With this in my mind, I got up and walked towards the kitchen. I cleaned the mess there, put the bread wrap back on it, filled the pepper shake with some black pepper and much more than these two petty things. I headed towards the sink. Yes, I saw a sink full of quiet and sulky vessels getting eager to get themselves a shower, with some detergent may be! I was ready wiith my gloves and turned on the hot and cold water to get the vessels wet before their shower. Well, all dirty minds, mind your mind here.......there is absolute no impure thoughts prevailing my mind....So, I took the scrub and started with this vigorous action of cleaning. I heard a voice, is there anything to drink? It was clear enough but before I could even reply, the question is answered and the coke zero bottle is taken out from the fridge. Well, no one prefers coke zero besides me here, so I knew that there shouldn't even be a thought striking my mind about this. With my honesty towards silence, I kept working. But naah!! I was wrong!! I heard the bottle being brought out of the freezing temperature. I had not enjoyed this in a while due to cold and cough and.........fizzzzz......There is a squeaky noise which perpetuated my ear drum mixed with the water sound. I could differentiate the shrill so well! The most unpredictable thing. I saw coke all over the kitchen reaching its way to heights!! Sky wasn't the limit but thank God here, the kitchen had a ceiling. So, it dripped and fizzed, with a thrist within itself, it splased all over, up and down and then hit the ceiling. I heard some one laughing big time, and I started laughing too. I had asked this coke zero opener to study and prepare for approaching exams. It was being avoided in all its totality and why not? This had to happen. Now, I know why she would not study. Ice had formed inside the bottle. I was asked to turn on the hot water and I followed instructions. The bottle was quite humble and polite for a few seconds but then it had to show its true nature! It screamed and shouted again and oozed itself out to the corner ceiling of the kitchen above the sink and the surrounding walls, mention less the window glass! Well, I got a little impatient now and said I am not going to clean this mess anymore. I am tired of doing this. Cleaning and cleaning. So, there is water and coke on the floor. A chair was brought and a 4.7-5 feet creature climbed this chair, with a cloth in one hand and attempted to wipe the stains. I get scared as there were more than less chances of skidding from the chair. The norm is I hardly get heard, so I spoke less. I silently holded the chair and was careful enough for the creature not to hurt itself. It was all done and I got back to my dishes. I cleaned them all. Removed my gloves and cleaned the remaining parts of the kitchen left with tiny coke zero particles. Splash of coke zero all over. I went to the other parts of the house to clean the other mess but I guess I was already satiated with the day's event of actions. Can't find better adjectives. Iwent to the room, found the table messy with all the study articles and unrelated stuff lying there since a week. I asked a question and got a reply that the creature knew that I would clean it myself, so she did not bother to do it!! Now, I give the responsibility of cleaning the table to the creature itself. I would love to do it but not when I am sick. So, this little creature was named "junior" the youngest of all and the most pampered at 143!! A sweetheart she is, who gets crazy and talks non-stop. She does not know that I am writing this post for this series of hilarious or crazy actions. Can award her the man of the match today!! So, all I am gonna do now is quietly post this on my blog and ask her to read it later during the day!! I want to do it now, but later is better. But the whole scenario was worth an experience. An unforgettable one. Hilarious and annoying simultaneously with added inclusion of cleaning part!! We had to believe the Murphy's laws. It will happen sooner or later, if it has to!! It happened here already....uffff!!!

............in a trice

As though it was existing in front my eyes, as though it was just within my reach, I saw it. I strived for it, I pined for it. It made itself visible to me, made me feel about it, as if I had owned it. I had a presentiment about reaching it. Even though it wasn't according to my pre-screened questionnaire in my bedaubed mind of streaming mindful or mindless thoughts(I wasn't sure if it was mindful, I give it a benefit of doubt here). How did I build it? Clueless absolutely. However, it was one of the best of all that I owned in my life till date. As if I did not need any roborant ever again in my life. What was it that made me so energetic, so blissful? A conflagration within myself, which never permitted me to stay calm. I questioned myself with a brio but all I could retrieve was a limpid rivulet of thoughts. Why was this? I was satiated, no....Neither complacent. Yet, unstable with a zeal of reaching it and acquiring it all my life. A possession I could cherish all my life. Something that I had yearned to call it my own for ages now. I tried earnestly to grab it and not let it go, but unsuccessful. I zestfully promised myself to allow it to stay with me. As much as I could descry out of it, I did. An experience of hardscrabble in a trice. I was in a state of turbid and restlessness yesterday, the day before, the day before that and the day before that as well. It was not refractory at all. Then why was it not simply castled within myself. I yearned for it again. It followed me as I continued. It appeared dark, but it was a true guide light for me. A sparkle of light it was. As I approached it, it put it arms around me and hugged me and said a word full of truth and clarity. Clear conscience it was. Yes, unburdened of the thought that I carried all this way. I did not name it, I thought of a nice name I could give it, but did not matter. I had a clear conscience that belonged to just me and I kept it clear in all phases of my life till date. I continue to do the same and make it the best ever. Doesn't prick me any more of any guilt nor of any burdens. I always learnt to be favoring truth under any situations and I do that what so ever. I discovered and was replenished again as though I got a second life. With a promise of pampering it always and keeping it as transparent as the ice cubes, I imbibed something which I learnt from my mom. This one's for you mom, had u not taught me to be bold and truthful, I would not have been so courageous today. You are just so impeccable, cognizant, understanding and magnanimous and mindful. I would want to give all the wonderful things in this world to you. But the best thing I can give you is my little conscience which has ingrained from you. A conscience of my own. It belonged to me after all. I hope you like it mom. I have no words to tell you anything more. All I realised was that it cannot be lost no matter what and I will keep it to myself protected all time. Not that it wasn't with me but its just an intermittent realization now and then.......in a trice

Hit n Run Day

The nth time I get hit today, yes by hit I really mean hit.....not sure why though? My day started by waking up in the morning and be done without procrastinating my daily chores like a good gurrl.... However, I could not reach the Uni for the assignments at a scheduled time due to some important phone calls. Now, I get to hear my favorite ring tone as many times as my phone rings. So I let it ring before I actually receive my calls..... Honestly, I do that.....Cute one it is for sure. Yes, I take shower and leave home with an expectation of a day full of assignments. Ufff..... Not that I do them at the earliest but just that they get done well under pressure, just prior to the deadline. I step out and realise how hot it is....Oh my gosh! Why did I wear shoes? Na.... I don't have the time to change them now..... I take the tram and the train half way and reach the city. I get into the Uni, meet my friend who had just returned from India, give him some compliments on his changed looks ;) and then realise that I finally have to look what my assignments are. I meet my friend and we head towards the lab. Oh yes, before I reach the Uni, I was walking fast enough (fast enough) to get my way through the walkways in the crowd in the city. I get hit by people a couple of times, I turn back and look but the person has hit and ran already!! Not that I expected a sorry here..... But I was simply wondering as though why? You can get hit accidentally once, a couple of times, definitely not more than that....We look at the assignment in the lab and very superficially outline what has to be done. We sit for a couple of hours, concentrate enough to jump start the assignment. As we walk out, some more friends working on the assignment. We decide that we had completed enough for the day and head out. As we walk, we find our friends asking us to wait for lunch. Deciding on a place to eat, we reach Spicy Noodles, one of the good Thai restaurants that offer sumptuous noodles and chilly fried rice for a decent amount of dollars. I knew I wasn't eating anything but grapes. They had good water melon juice and fresh mango juice. My friend got me one. Our day's quota for the assignments had reached to the brim and there was an hour left for the lecture to begin. The weather improved by degrees on the cooler side, clouds paving way for rain to pour and favonian cool breeze changed the whole city. We await the rain happily. M not going to the lab now. I will only attend the lecture and the tutes and the labs. So we plan on taking a stroll in the city. We walk and walk. I get hit by people randomly. I can call it as though there was a random generator of people having expertise of hitting a specific target! I am standing out of a nice jewellery showroom and looking at some pierre cardin watches, longing to have one of them now. Will buy it one day soon, I convince myself. I get hit by a lady, I swear I wasn't in her way at all. What was my fault? I go and attend the class, thankfully, there is a protocol in class that everyone has to sit and listen to the lecture. No one stands except for the lecturer, or else I would have been dead there!! I go to my tutes, labs and on my way home, I get hit again!! Heights!! All I wanted now is go home without being forced to any more physical external forces trying to show their thrust!! My friend then tells about this hit and run policy that was applied to me free of charge by random people with no hidden costs either!! Everyone laughs and laughs and I laugh with them too apart from being annoyed. I reach home and get lost in chores...... I am happy as I know for sure there aren't people coming and dashing into me by any chance. Each day is an own adventure in itself these days in life. I wish I could write some unique incidents that happen if not all of them. Well, its better than having a monotonous life of working and studying but definitely not being a victim of the free of charge hit technique!! I suppose I can call it the hit and run day of the Melbournian phase of my life!!

Do not speak unless you can improve the silence

A train stops at a not so upmarket station and I board the train. The only thing I found subsisting was silence. How could the whole box swarmed with people be filled with silence? As though there was no one existing in the train and the driver wants to just head the train to its destination faster. The involuntary muscles greedy for a reflex action rule over me and my hands slide into my pockets. This is to increase the volume of the music in my ears. Now, I listen as though I would not have been able to listen to one of my favorite songs peacefully. My ears then become sentient with a realisation that there is absolute no necessity to increase the volume, silence is the only thing in prevalence now. My eyes try to take a glimpse and there is a small mathematical calculation involved, about sixty seventy people in one compartment and there is just silence! This is simply the Mx effect, I call. All heads down in the paper, I can hardly see faces. Yes, Mx is an evening newspaper, which people of all ages, from all hemishperes of life grab and get themselves busy, be it news, sports section, horoscope or the sudoku, which one of my friends likes to solve..... Meanwhile, I also read some headlines here or there from some one's paper. My curiosity to read the horoscope for the day amplifies in spite of knowing the day is close to retirement. I know myself how my entire day has been. I do not even try to justify as to why the curiosity should still exist.

The train stops and people get down, some people board the train and some are still waiting on the other platform. I slowly see a lady talking to a gentleman sitting in front of her, there I go.... Finally I have seen some one talking. I become environment deaf but of course, I do listen to the muzic in my ears. Every one looks at him as if they were not supposed to talk but sit silently following the norm. Why not? Its public transport and you gotta talk. Alright, I had decreased the volume of my ear phones some time back, thanks to silence again. I hear a nice funky ring tone, I wish I had that one on my mobile. But none like mine.... Its very sweet.... if you have heard of the cuppy cake. The cutest n sweetest of all. The receiver takes the call and starts sending the voice signal with less loss of noise. In simple words, he starts talking, people again turn their heads and see who is talking. Some do not even turn as though they don't bother, good people I think, but no, they are the people who are like but have increased volume of music in their ears and are unaware of the loudness. This conversation is not an interesting one but every one is forced to listen. This person tries to explain that he is visiting some city only on a business tour and is not willing to spend a huge money on a luxurious accommodation. Alright, I get a place to sit and I doze off when I do not know. All I remember is I had taken the Mx paper myself and was reading it. Yes my horoscope said that my day was gonna be a passive one with undecided thoughts and some active period for love.... I wake up to find the train less crowded but with more noise now. A gang of teenagers, having fun. I check for the next station, hope that I slept enough for my station to arrive. Yes, I see the board and get off. I start walking and think how silent could the place be. As if we all had to pay if we start talking. Or some one would say like his or her hobbies are reading, writing, listening to music and silence..... So, speak only if you can improve the silence. How, I do not comprehend still. I get home and my evening continues..... writing this post......

---

Essence of Life

Dictionary.com I visit, to check the meaning of one of the innumerous words which I was ignoramous of. Skimming through the page, I see the 'happy' word and ignore it, not that I tried to be a coxcomb here but only because I knew the meaning of it. Obviously, who wouldn't. Happily I skip the happy word, forget about it and get engrossed in my other work, not that it was important, just browse on the net, try to look for something new n exciting. The velocity of my thoughts increases and I board a flight of memories from the Melbourne airport to the Hyderabad one, I keep cruising smoothly in a jocund fashion way years back. My mom making the best biryani for me, my chachu teasing me, dad teaching me the best things in life, or simply fighting with my sweetest bro, being fortunate enough to meet a new friend in life, or be it the first time I saw aryan my fren's son, how cute was he, they all brought smiles to me, more smiles than before now that I am miles away. Happiness is what we all strive for.... all time, all moments in life. I want to be happy as well. Absolute dependence on what I would define happiness as. Do I accept the universally known or ubiquitously accepted definition of happiness or just create my own? Yes, I guess we all do that, customize it in our own peculiar ways and then start a search for it, as though it was a keyword on a search engine and you get results. Yes, today if you do enter it as a keyword, you will get results. Are they relevant to you? As a child, I wanted all toys, chocolates and ice creams for myself and I was happy....Scoring in math made my happy, a nice beautiful dress my mom would get for me made me happy..... being with my frenz n family made me happy...... being around new places made me happy......Birthday treats and being with my big family made me happy. It was as gleeful, as joyous, as exultant as euphoric(bloomingeuphoria as my blog name, clik clik.....), as amused, basically as happy I could be. As I grew my definition of happiness kept changing. Its just that I start a day, a day full of activities, unrelenting, some jovial moments and the mundane routine....Was it not the happiness but the things from which I was seeking happiness were changing constantly? This was so true. Not that it was inscrutable all this while to me, but its just that point of self realization that had to take a revolt inside me and I started jiving in the inner me. I wanted that gratification where I could find satisfaction that I could get in doing something. Not that I did not get it in when I was working, when I was staying with my family, not that it did not happen when I wanted to study and made it.... Nor when I am here in Melbourne around..... But still, there is something that I so much want to do, somewhere that I want to go, which could make me so happy that I can give that sense of happiness to others, so that they smile n I smile..... Let it not be objectively measurable I say to myself. No homilies here, but just a simple and an honest attempt of finding my path of happiness or satisfaction in life. I wonder what elements are they that make up the correct compound of happiness or a catalyst that I am missing in myself to balance that equilibrium of happiness. My hunt is still on for the essence of my life....

Grateful I am......

While making sandwiches, I never realised that I would meet this person again!! How busy can a store be when u have hungry clients standing in huge queues in front of you, just eagerly waiting to hand over their apetite in your hands and ready to tickle their taste buds. Breads, wraps, carrot, sour cream, lettuce, chutney, bbq sauce, dressings, salads n drinks n coffee... I was in this world with no other thoughts striking in my mind..... Hardly, I get a chance to lift my head up and see how many more are gonna be served...... And I see a smiling face looking at me and I give a real smile back to that person. Only with a hope that I get a chance to serve this person. I realized slowly that this person was also waiting in the line ahead of me willing to be served. I happily receive this person and ask if it was a bread or sa focaccia, salad or meat n coffee or juice n salt n pepper or dressing or hot roast. Not the whole menu I intend to display in this space....The best I wanted the sandwich to be!! And then we would discuss how healthy the food gotta be....n general catching up with each other.... n n n on.... alright I give a staff discount for the sandwich and the drink.... n get another newly enrolled healthy habits member!! I then thank him for being the kindest person of all to me and look upto him for being the human being!! Yes, u got the clue now.... He was the one who returned my purse back to me!! This one is out for you :)

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has a cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." - Albert Schweitzer

Human Being..... Being Human ??

Good people still exist today. Not just for the heck of it I say, but with experience. One day, actually one night after a tiresome cumbersome double shift at work, I am all rushing gushing towards the tram stop praying all my way that the tram arrives after my arrival. Not that it was the last tram of the day but I would have to wait for the next and last tram for the night alone. I wanted to rush home, get rid of my uniform smelling of sandwiches...anyone could say I work in a sandwich store because of my uniformly sandwich perfumed uniform! Its a funky vibrant green colored tee though!! I wouldn't have worn a cap though at that part of the night.. I would have, no one bothers what fashion is or isn't here. You wear it and its a fashion....This reminds me of Seinfeld's episode where in Elane or George eats snickers or some chocolate bar with a knife and everyone in the city starts eating a chocolate bar with a knife and a fork. Ok ok, now I am just going off track and missing the essence of what I desired to write... I know my written skills aren't that great but when I wish to write can't stop it anyways, whether it is good or bad!! I board the tram, all tired with my eyes yearning for sleep, shutting down, I take an evening popular newspaper and start reading it and also looking for my stop as if looking out and restlessness would make me reach earlier to my stop! My constant effort of not falling asleep as the repercussions would be not more than missing my stop at that late hour and ending myself some tram stop heading towards the city. And not get the train/tram back to my place. So, with an honest attempt to not try this wonderful adventure, I try to be awake, look at the old couple sitting behind, a desi guy with his hair shining because of his highlights( I still remember the funny hairstyle vaguely :)), an Aussie girl talking on phone as though her voice couldn't be heard at the other end and some other jerks my be, whom I did not even bother to look at. There the stop is, stop no 26, happily I collect all my stuff n get down, say thanks to the driver, just being courteous enough here :) and running again not to miss the signal for pedestrians, I run across the road(why do we humans keep always running behind something or the other?) Too many things in my hand, I reach home and see the lights on in the kitchen area, oh yes, what a sigh of relief, some one can open the door for me, I don't have to toggle between stuff in my bag.... I get the door open with food smelling, again a relief that I don't have to cook.....N yes, I take shower, have dinner n try to catch up with my sweet roomie with the day's hum drums. Now, the time to turn off the lights, lock the door and take my stuff up. Only then did I realise that my bag is missing, a safe guess I made that it must be a prank by my roomie, but unfortunately it wasn't true. The adventure starts with the bag hunt, all unsuccessful......cursing myself all along why did I not take care of the bag... Honestly, was I not taking care that I don't fall asleep, was I not trying to be awake and save myself from another tiresome roller coaster adventure of travelling in the tram?? Where could my bag go? (as though it could run away because it did not like my company! Only a little animation imagination here!) My house did not contain the bag neither did some one flick my bag. Alright, its gone astray! Flummoxed totally, I end up calling the tram services but to no avail, quite obvious that it wouldn't be a customer service rep ready to take my call, I get the automated message very politely asking me to call back at 6am the next morning. I don't sleep the whole night, waiting for the clock to strike 6am.The concerned person will only be available at 9am, I get to hear this at 6am. Not much can I do now and my eyes just shutting for some rest they needed, some sleep I guess. Yes I innocently guess! The person in charge tells me that there was no bag found! Only tensed, no chemicals flowing in my brain now. Oh meanwhile, I did block one of my cards the previous night. Only realising that I did not block the other one. I just call up the other card and get it blocked. I was told that this card has already been blocked. Now, I wonder how. But in the interim, I call up my parents and just trying to share my frustration with them that I lost everything that was there in the bag with all my ids, did not have cash though!! Parents are always nice and I get encouragement just not be so tensed and things can be done again and its not an irreparable loss after all!! Its always possible to get back my ids.... I hang up with some relief, its not a big loss after all!! Coming back to the card that was blocked!! How do I unravel this mystery now? I call up the bank and realise that some one has blocked it! I already start praising that nice person for being so kindest of all to me on this planet! I contact my Uni, asking them if any one is looking for me, please give them my number so that he/she can reach me! A couple of minutes, I get a quick response that my person has been found and please contact this person! All my smiles are getting back to me!! I call this person and get to know how I just forgot to pick up my bag in the tram while leaving! He was just enough to return it to me!! Yes, people are so mean to you, they know you and are still mean to you. People are nice to you, they know you and are still nice to you. What touched me the most is that this person without knowing who I was so good, so kind and so nice to help me out! Why can't people be nice to you in spite of knowing you? Is it this difficult to efface the unkindness with our selves???? I met him, thanked him from the bottom of my heart and will always remember that this person has taught me to be nice and extend help to who ever I could. He gave me my smiles back and saved me from the plight of redoing the whole procedure of getting my ids back to me! I owe him big time I would say. Now, I always say let that person be always happy where ever he is and let him be successful in what ever he does in any part of his life!!

So, human beings we all are, but being human is what this incident has taught me!

My Latest Passion!

Melbourne! My latest passion!! Ever since I landed, I always kept falling in love with this most scintillating city..... I bet this place has an undeniable magnetic power! What is it that makes it so adorable?

Yes, when I first landed here, I saw the sun rising in the early hours from the airport, with a cool crispness in the air, and the light shimmering thru, making everything look golden made me enjoy nature at first hand. Trains n trams make it so convenient to mobilize, any point is so accessible from any corner. My campus in city made it all the more exciting to explore it everyday. Sky scrapers with a touch of modernity in one part of the city whereas telstra dome, MCG, museums and other antiquated buildings with intricate architecture on the other part of the yarra river make it a perfect blend of old n new! How could I not mention the casinos? A ramble gamble weekend, I experienced that too... A frenetic festival I would call it, muzic lovers playing muzic, guitar sometimes, lotsa other instruments and also a jamaican long tube... am not sure what its called for now, can't stress my brain, so I leave it. Street shows adding a lively flavor to the streets... One whole part of a walk way built for chess! Yes, a huge block of 64 white and black sqaures and huge king, queen, elephants n horses.... Sumptuous food on sideways with awesome restaurants on both sides, tempting your senses to eat.... Boat clubs and oh ya, other clubs too around and what not! People all over, avid shoppers.... People are so friendly here, so helpful. Winter breeze making me hunt for my pocket in the jacket to get that little warmth... Rainy days, carrying an umbrella after ages! I love getting wet in rain, but not when u gotta go to class... Breezy sunny mornings and wait for your train, praying that it comes a little early when I am early at the station and the day I am late, wish the train is late too!!

Could I ever force myself to start studying being in a beautiful place like this?? Well, with an overload of my assignments, I guess I would have to pester myself and not procrastinate my studies.... Before I get a call to be back to India!!

I thought I had posted this one.... was still lying with me in my saved drafts! Just trying to show off a little that I had no time to write!! Na.... seriously I did not!!

Agglomeration Of Feelings.....

I looked out of the window from the flight, fleeting clouds, white n pure.... as white as they could be! While cruising thru them, never realized I dived into the ocean of thoughts. Though a journey by air, I stopped at every small station of my life, yielding to all vibrant cameos of life. A little girl being pampered at home by all, fond memories of school days, full of mischief n naughtiness, college fun days, bunking classes, writing exams, movies, masti... Snowy experience in Detroit, thrilling roller coaster rides :) The most recent one, in Hyd. Spending quality time with my parents was the best part.... Be pampered, get what you desire, catch up with friends besides growing professionally. I cannot complete without writing about my experience while working for the world's largest search engine company... The wonderful friends I made..... yes, a roller coaster ride of awesome experiences..... I met people hankering with zeal, the zeal to enjoy life and wonderful friends :) No blue funks, just joy. Yes, I did recollect some of my bitter experiences but I wanted to be happy and not agonize myself at a point where I am thinking of starting a new phase in my life.... the student phase again! Having recollected all this, I learnt the importance of treasuring these sweet memories, and I look forward to spend more lovely moments... As I read some where, 'you never know when you are actually creating a memory.....' to be treasured some time some where later in life's journey......