Just the feel of you!

Was this my faith dwindling or the ubiquitously accepted destiny smitten aroma of life. Standing strong through, very little did I realise I was being withered by hope. Tears rolling down, heart pining for a small heart beat. Of my own, belonging to me, that blood drop I would want to use for u, why are u hiding away from me. Or are u not ready to be with me yet?

I know you hear me, feel me n know me already. This pain has been killing me from inside, have been longing for you in years. My heart sinks each time each month, just so you know.

Bring that ray of sunshine in our lives, spring out of us. We are ready for u, to embrace you, shield you, nurture you, caress you, bring you to life, make you our world.

Be our bliss, be our universe, be our dream, be our smiles, be ours.

kuch ankahi si

vo aaye the izhaar karne
aankhon se deedaar karne
samajh na sake hum unka ishaara
doob gayi kashti na Mila kinara
kabhie chalte the ek raah
humko aate dekh,
badal di unhone raah
khata kya ki humne
saza jiski mili unse
apna banaya unhone gair se bhi gair banaya unhone
hum intezaar karenge unka
kehdo unse ki ye
dil ki chahat hai
unko humse aur humko unse
mohabbat hai mohabbat hai

kahi ankahi si

kuch kahi si, kuch ankahi si

simat rahi hai, kuch palon ki

zindagani aur kahani kahin

khamoshiyon ka caravan

ehsaason ka jahan

banana chahta hai koi

haal hai jo dil ka, bolna chahta hai koi

pal ban ne lage hai,

yaadein simatne lage hai

naya taraana sa hai,

lamhon ka naya khazaana sa hai

ek jhoka aaya anjaana sa,

lamha kuch pehchaana sa

ojhal na tha kabhi,

laga jo apna sa abhi

nazar ne milna chaha,

dil per zor na raha

ik baari raaz khol bhi do,

palkon ko uthne bhi do

kuch samajhne lage vo,

andaz dekhne lage hum

kuch samjhaane lage vo,

aahein bharne lage hum

kuch kehne ki zid karne lage vo,

samajh rahe the per keh na sake hum

barasne ke liye kuch hamare,

hothon per bol ke badal

na samajh sake vo

fir kuch samjhaane lage hum

surili aankhon mein unke,

doobne se dar lagta hai

jadu sa kar gaye vo,

dooriyon se dar lagta hai

kehkasha bana gaye vo,

chahat ka darwaza khatkhata gaye vo

basne lage hai dil mein jaise,

ab keh bhi do, samjha bhi do aise

meethi si bheeni si,

baatein keh gaye vo

palkon se naino tak,

dil mein sama gaye vo

kehne aaye the jo vo,

humse bulva gaye vo

palkon se unke naino tak hum,

khone se lage hai kuch hum

soni si suhaani si,

zindagaani bana gaye vo

haldi ka shot

My blog has been wrinkled. Wrinkles come with age, don't they? This is what happened to my blog: unattended, uncared and undernourished. Procrastination wins over negligence here. Well, here I am back into the writing state of my mind. I shall try and make this intermittent. Hope it is in my trying effort.

Work has been as usual. My day started with some lack of sleep, backache and no breakfast. I hate to bring the blinds down in my apartment. Let me rephrase this, I love to bring them down but hate to be unsuccessful. I learnt the knack and how hard I tried and still try each time. Lucky I am a few times when it's smooth without any squeaky noises displeasing my ears. I tried hard again this morning and this is the nth time I hate to ask some one else to do it. I leave them to their state. However, there is a ray of sunlight passing through the other glass pane. The blinds were open horizontally but down all the way vertically. It reached the plants placed on a stand and made it beautiful. I smiled and thought, what a sight of contentment.

Stir fry, yes I love cooking. I enjoy so much that it vents my frustration and allows a fresh breeze of creativity. I love going to a Thai joint which has become one my favourites. How I love the sumptuous wok tossed chicken n veggies with its lemon-grass sauce hissing on the sizzler. I have not had my breakfast and this is definitely a serious high peak temptation. I recreated this dish and surprised myself. Shared the recipe with my friends and trained (mind you, trained I said :)) them. It clicked at the box office.

I was elated when I just heard from my friend about the box office hit. Made my day. How often do you share your recipe and some one tries it immediately? I was excited. She is pregnant and its a pleasure when both souls relish and please their taste-buds. Oh, does the tiny soul have his/her taste-buds yet? I am not sure about this one.

Drinking turmeric instilled milk is an ancient, successful and tested household remedy tested for cold. I was a very finicky fussy child when it came to food. Milk added to my misery. None of the chocolate powders could change my mind enough. However, bournvita won my heart and I would forget the milk. Take bournvita in a bowl with a spoon and sit in front of the tv and have it before being scolded. Adding to my sad saga of this hatred of milk was haldi. I love haldi in everything but milk. I could not throw away this glass of yellow milk as I did with regular milk sometimes from my window or in the sink. I came up with an idea. I named it 'haldi ka shot'.

Hot chocolate poured in my glass. I mixed 3-5 tablespoons of milk with haldi and gulped it like medicine. With no break, I drank hot chocolate over this. Mom always said no water for an hour at least. I followed the same and forgot about the haldi trauma. It worked like magic. I could not be happier in this state of suffering. I remember when I forced my parents to try this. It was different to what their grandparents and parents taught them. It worked and they were happy. I shared this with my friend and she promised to try it. I am waiting for another success story like stir fry.

An ode to my childhood discovery. Haldi ka shot.

Trivial yet Memorable

TGIF! I was looking forward to a relaxed evening. Rain made the weather awesome. My day was hectic with work, Uni and meetings. I went to the city to catch up with a friend.

The weather could not get any better. The journey in train seemed quicker. I stopped at some stations of memories where the train did not halt in ages. I remembered a few people about whom I had almost forgotten in my day to day life. A couple of incidents which remained untouched where refreshed. Coupled with a few sms's and phone calls, the journey was still on. "Don't get late, I hate waiting!" This flashed my mind and I was startled. I told my friend to get there early, the reason very obvious. I do not like to wait irrespective of the place or people. I got off and walked towards the meeting point.

The deal was to catch up and indulge sinfully (as I call it), at the most popular chocolate palace. The place was a hodgepodge of rain and chocolate. We met and started talking. I wanted a chocolate frappe. Not that I really wanted it but I wanted to avoid the belgian waffles with heaps of chocolate. We spoke and ordered. My friend got busy for a moment in something, I guess it was cricket. (I cannot remember it now!) My other friend had an exam that evening. He called me to know what I was doing. I asked him to join us. Three of us, spoke and spoke.

The isle was full of chocolate lovers. I was facing these guys and talking to them. I realized some one trying to gain my attention. I simply ignored. I sipped my frappe and continued listening to the conversation. It was about a person whom we knew. I nodded and asked a question. I lost track of the conversation after a few minutes. It was not boring, but I was preoccupied with something else at that moment.

I noticed the person sitting opposite to me. He was one among the six-seven persons dressed professionally. I presumed that was an office group. I noticed a guy staring at me. I looked too. There was a nice handsome chap in a black suit, white shirt inside and cufflings but I continued talking. I got caught in those eyes for a moment.

My talking made no sense gradually. That sentence was a roller coaster of words. He stared again and knew that I got caught. There was hide and seek of eyes for a few moments. I continued drinking the frappe and talked. He walked away after some time looking at me. I did not.

शुभ दीपावली

त्यौहार हो दीपावली का
पूजन हो देवी लक्ष्मी का
आँगन हो खुश-हाली का
नज़ारा हो झील मिल दीयों का
शोर हो पटाखों का
सेवन हो मिठाईयों का
चुप गया चन्द्रमा आज, थो आकाश हो जगमगाते सितारों का
डेरा हो जीवन में उजाले का
नव वर्ष के इस सुहाने आगमन में, हर सपना हो साकार आपका
और सुनेहरा बन जाए हर रिश्ता, चाहे मेरा हो या आप का
शुभ दीपावली कहे सबको, फ़िर वो निराला मन् मेरा हो या आप का :)

Sleepy afternoon

One afternoon in office and the pinnacle of my sleep. My eyes tried hard not to shut. Ill-timed but unavoidable. With my manager's back and mine facing each other, it wasn't hard to close my eyes longer. However, I dared not to risk myself. I also preferred not to put my sleep at stake. If only I could. I had a light and non-soporific lunch some time back. Climbing Mt. Everest seemed easier. Controlling my sleep was as difficult as putting a thread in the needle without glasses. Savoring coffee or iced chocolate was not an option. I was craving for candy, and my colleague walked in with some. Very minute square shaped sweet bits. I grabbed only three of them. I got conscious of my health; sub-consciously may be.

I heard something the next minute. My ears paid extra attention to that, eyes unbothered. "Meghna....You are here, how come so quiet? Unusual! Like a mouse!" It made sense. Even if I slept, I 'd be silent. I went to him and conversed for a few minutes. I tried not to fade the excellent state of sleepiness. It hadn't. I returned to my seat and realised that I had not read one of my friend's blog. I read and also posted a comment. I opened a file to work and made some changes to it. Saved it to my computer without taking chances of uploading it on the server. This saved me from getting into any trouble. I gulped some water and with my favorite song playing into my ear drums.

"Can I ask you something?" My reflex action was slower. Somehow, I responded a second later, "ya sure!" What was that? I went and resolved that little computer related mystery of his. I returned to my desk. Paid less attention to the song and I decided to chat with my friend. I did, but was sad as my housemate was leaving. I questioned myself about parting from good people in life. Never waited for a response. I gulped water again and was completing my water quota of the day. Nope actually, was more than half way through.

I realised there was only half hour left. I tested something that I was building for a few minutes. I was happy that it reflected the changes I made. This was a boon at that state of trance. But my eyes did not cooperate for the chemicals in my brain to flow smoothly. So, I was not confident to burden the server again. I read some news. About the world's cheapest car. Originated from my own country. I went ahead to read some interesting articles. Bored, I jumped to food websites. They never bored me at all. Cooking, my passion increased the desire of reading it.

I looked out of the window, it was so beautiful. The lake's scintillating water created perfect reflections. Bright was the sunshine glow. I smiled. My mobile was blinking more than my eyes now. It caught my attention. The number was not stored in my mobile. I pretended to be busy at work and it was unanswered. I spoke to one of my colleagues and my phone vibrated. This was my friend. He was on his way to buy a camera for my housemate. We decided on a specific model in the morning after some research. I lost attention to his speech, more towards a new email that popped up. I continued reading, it was about my tax refunds. The agent replied there would be less returns than expected during our meeting. I misread that and panicked. I thought I had to pay more. Noway I said to myself. But my friend without realising my state of mind, continued talking. I asked him to stop and walked out in the lobby to talk. Air seemed to be fresh relatively. I spoke and realised how I misread the email. Spoke for a few minutes.

I exchanged smiles with most of my colleagues. Smiles most expressive, its the end of the day. There was restlessness in few whereas a sign of relief in more. Mine conveyed the latter. I returned to my desk and read the email again. I looked at the clock and wasn't too far from leaving. There was some task to be completed. But it can be done tomorrow said my inner voice. I was lethargic.

I heard voices " cya tomorrow, have a gud nite....What are your plans for tonight? Hmmm...I am going Salsa....and it was a medley of voices. Thirty seconds past five. I winded up for the day. I greeted few and left for home. Thoughts of living without the housie scared me a bit. Its rare to find a person as joyful and as precious as one could be. Tears in my eyes, but no one focused as I was getting into the tram. It was overcrowded. I continued my journey.